Charity

This week we read a wonderful chapter about having charity in our marriages.  C.S. Lewis described a sin against charity as sulking, snapping at/snubbing someone or storming.  And he said, "surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man his is.  Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth."  I just thought that that quote was so poignant and true.  Trying to let go of the natural man's way of thinking about my husband, or about any situation that we may be in, and trying to truly grasp charity is easier said than done but so worthwhile.  I love reading about seeking to see my husband the way that Christ sees him.  Dr. Goddard said, "We will continue to be annoyed by our spouses unless we are humbled enough by our own limitations to call on heavenly grace."  The quote by Wendy Watson went so well with this - "An interesting fact about commending your spouse is that the more you do it, the more you see in him or her to commend."  I've found this to be true in my marriage.  Though I'm not perfect at it, by any means, I've been trying to not let the little things bother me, and trying to focus in on the good things about my husband.  And there are a lot of good things for which I am thankful. A while back, my husband and I took the "5 Love Languages" test and his biggest love language is "words of affirmation".  After that, I made a little board to put on his nightstand that says, "I love you because..." and I can write something new each day.  I know that he's appreciated it and it's helped me to appreciate him more, which has been great.  I still have a lot of work to do with charity in my marriage and I love so much of what was written in this chapter.  

I also loved how some of the reading in Dr. Gottman's book went along with the theme of charity.  I regards to dealing with in-laws, I liked that he said, "An important part of putting your spouse fist and building this sense of solidarity is to not tolerate any contempt toward your spouse from your parents." And, "remember that one of the basic tasks of a marriage is to establish a sense of "we-ness" between husband and wife."  I think that establishing that connection, and sticking to it is an act of charity.